Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
