Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
