Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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