Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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