Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
