if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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