i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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