Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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