you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
