I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
