I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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