Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.

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(631): all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight. http://tfl.nu/hryw

Replies (11) Good night (2390) Bad night (674)
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(310): View more from California

YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!

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(310): YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??! http://tfl.nu/ltdu

Replies (55) Good night (8647) Bad night (705)
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(415): View more from California

its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead

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(415): its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead http://tfl.nu/3qus

Replies (45) Good night (786) Bad night (3405)
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(720): View more from Colorado

When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy

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(720): When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy http://tfl.nu/04on

Replies (25) Good night (5839) Bad night (809)
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(765): View more from Indiana

After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.

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(765): After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself. http://tfl.nu/i4wo

Replies (14) Good night (1748) Bad night (5722)
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(937): View more from Ohio

also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.

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(937): also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner. http://tfl.nu/f3ww

Replies (14) Good night (5427) Bad night (685)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

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(313): I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer http://tfl.nu/w7yv

Replies (8) Good night (2170) Bad night (854)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.

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(202): Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it. http://tfl.nu/4ii1

Replies (2) Good night (2905) Bad night (735)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

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(641): I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. http://tfl.nu/90tm

Replies (18) Good night (1105) Bad night (1271)
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(785): View more from Kansas

God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.

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(785): God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr. http://tfl.nu/5tpq

Replies (5) Good night (1265) Bad night (516)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.

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(403): My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices. http://tfl.nu/r9jz

Replies (4) Good night (1212) Bad night (373)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape

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(318): There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape http://tfl.nu/a8x6

Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (1232)
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(618): View more from Illinois

I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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(618): I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away. http://tfl.nu/0di0

Replies (9) Good night (815) Bad night (629)
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(970): View more from Colorado

That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...

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(970): That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever... http://tfl.nu/748q

Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (204)
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(616): View more from Michigan

She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."

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(616): She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20." http://tfl.nu/9pz5

Replies (4) Good night (242) Bad night (447)

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