things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
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They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
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bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule