Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

the ice cream truck is coming omgomg

(1-650): View more from California

dude, it's 2 am.

(650): View more from California

but its COMING

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(650): the ice cream truck is coming omgomg (1-650): dude, it's 2 am. (650): but its COMING http://tfl.nu/8z5r

Replies (63) Good night (8463) Bad night (842)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?

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(314): Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen? http://tfl.nu/sbh1

Replies (89) Good night (1037) Bad night (12580)
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(325): View more from Texas

I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka

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(325): I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka http://tfl.nu/q9is

Replies (23) Good night (6891) Bad night (934)
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(518): View more from New York

I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.

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(518): I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room. http://tfl.nu/qe4u

Replies (22) Good night (6769) Bad night (1129)
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(407): View more from Florida

my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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(407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed. http://tfl.nu/xljx

Replies (87) Good night (3753) Bad night (31860)
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(407): View more from Florida

I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.

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(407): I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk. http://tfl.nu/exk9

Replies (25) Good night (6702) Bad night (1108)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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(774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua

Replies (27) Good night (6820) Bad night (1349)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior

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(803): I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior http://tfl.nu/ap8i

Replies (20) Good night (4298) Bad night (1388)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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(601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht

Replies (5) Good night (2044) Bad night (671)
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(941): View more from Florida

I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.

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(941): I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head. http://tfl.nu/zqfr

Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (793)
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(540): View more from Virginia

AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA

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(540): AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA http://tfl.nu/16eo

Replies (2) Good night (1761) Bad night (610)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.

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(724): That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake. http://tfl.nu/bbsk

Replies (6) Good night (542) Bad night (982)
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(954): View more from Florida

Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer

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(954): Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer http://tfl.nu/9id9

Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (377)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.

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(843): Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship. http://tfl.nu/rl7t

Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (369)
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(661): View more from California

She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."

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(661): She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice." http://tfl.nu/9aos

Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (576)

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