i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.