i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
