You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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