and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
