You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
