I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
