You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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