I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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