I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There r osticjed everywhere
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
