Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
