good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
