and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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