my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
