Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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