Your tits are I can't wait for
my sisters under your porch take her home
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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