sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
