I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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