He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
