Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
