That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
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Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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