I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We have started to decorate penises.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
