So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
