I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
