I looked at my own cervix.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
