It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
