I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Alive.
So much puke
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
