His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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