She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
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A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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