This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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