is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
