i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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