hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
