everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
