and you said cock pushups were impossible
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
