dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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