Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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