walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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