Me. At least after what I've been through.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
