fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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