I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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