You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize