I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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