she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
