it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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