i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
did i just pee glitter
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
its liver damage thursday
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
