The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
