Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
