Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
