Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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