A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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