just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
