Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize