Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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